Feminsim 101 – Nice Guy Syndrome
by lemonadeandlemoncake
Ah, the ever-present problem of ‘Nice Guys.’ It plagues the population as a whole and feminists because the typical reaction is ‘but this just proves you’re a man-hating feminist!’ Ah, the things that anti-feminists describe as ‘manly’. Rape, sexual harassment, spousal abuse. I mean, you’d think they’d have a higher estimation of the men they revere as flawless.
Onto Nice Guy Syndrome. See, maybe the title is misleading at first. The point, though, is, that the men targeted by this concept aren’t actually nice. What happens is, boy likes girl. Girl does not like boy, for whatever reason. Girl chooses other boy who turns out to be, in Nice Guy’s opinion, a jerk.
Nice Guy then says any of these things.
She has ‘issues’. That’s why she chose him.
This one is problematic because of the stigma of ‘issues.’ The crazy, overemotional woman is so whenever she’s upset and the man doesn’t particularly want to deal with it so he says something along the lines of ‘take a chill pill’ or the newly popular ‘calm your tits’ or even ‘chill out slut’. Case in point, chill. Your needs aren’t important, nor are your opinions. If you are upset about something you’re being emotional.
I’m not upset about it, the calm, rational man who always knows best, so clearly you’re just over-reacting.
Any girl who goes for the jerks is not worth your time. Move onto someone worth it.
Oh, good. This just strikes me as funny. ‘You’re worthless! Now, why won’t you go out with me?’ The important thing to note here is the single distinguishing factor of a ‘jerk.’ Not necessarily that he actually is a jerk to the woman, but that Nice Guy does not like the guy. Evidence of jerk-hood does not have to be given.
He is a jerk because he took the woman from the Nice Guy even if the woman never claimed to like Nice Guy.
But I offered you advice on boys! I let you cry on my shoulder at every break up! I loaned you my pencil in Math class! I was nice to you! We were friends!
This one is particularly eyebrow-raising because apparently friendship=relationship and sex/relationship is owed the moment one becomes friends.
But I asked you out five times and you said no each time! See, clearly you’re the jerk!
This image does a particularly good job of illustrating the ‘but I asked you out!’ argument. Apparently if a guy likes us, we are obligated to, optimally, like him back. If we don’t like him, we must give good reasons. We simply cannot say no. If we simply say no, it is not enough and we are just playing hard to get. And must be pursued, even a bit creepily, like this fellow here. This plays into rape culture quite nicely as when a woman says no, it is not important to listen.
Ah, it’s no big deal. She’s a whore anyway. I’m better off without her.
First it’s important to note that for a girl to be branded a ‘slut’ or a ‘whore’ it is not necessary to sleep with someone. This is true even for the good youth group girls who parade their ‘Virgin is not a dirty word’ t-shirts around high school hallways and wear their abstinence rings everywhere. Amazingly, these slurs have absolutely nothing to do with sexual habits. All that is necessary is for someone to deem you mean. I remember the first time I was called a whore. I don’t remember why. I think I was standing up to the cheerleader for being rude or something.
I remember turning around, never having kissed a boy, and pointing out the logical fallacy. I also remember being laughed at. Silly, it’s got nothing to do with your sexual habits. You can be a whore if -
- someone doesn’t like you for any reason whatsoever
- you date someone that someone else doesn’t like
- you turn down the ‘Nice Guy’
- you have big breasts.
- Any other reason.
Well, I have to have some standards.
I’ve heard this one plenty of times and have come to see it as a defining hallmark of the Nice Guy. I’ve been told, times-aplenty, that I’m undateable because I’m fat (BAHAAHAHAHAHA). I’ve heard guys say that they don’t like dating fat girls because fat is unattractive and unhealthy. I’d just like to say that if you make that statement in this society, wherein every girl takes up too much space, you have absolutely no reason to whine about not having a date. Only skinny girls, right? So that eliminates most of the pool, as most of us, even if NOT fat, think we aren’t at the right size. Also, when guys turn down a fat girl and then turn around and whine endlessly about all the girls being taken by jerks.
What they mean, of course, is ‘all the skinny pretty girls are taken!’ And since, if you SAY something like ‘I only date skinny girls,’ girls just might talk to each other, you shouldn’t be surprised when you, sizeist prick, become undateable to us women. You know, because we have to have some standards, too.
The point behind Nice Guy Syndrome is that the guys aren’t actually nice. They’re misogynist pricks. Under every comment and rant that they make about the women who didn’t choose them is that women don’t really know what’s good for them. That’s why they choose the jerks after all! If they knew what’s good for them, they’d have chosen the Nice Guy, who, as we can see, has a lot of gems to say about the One Who Got Away. Here’s the thing, though.
I’ve heard a LOT of guys, scorn on rejection, talk about these ‘bad girls’ and their deep-seated need to be loved by ‘jerks’. It’s a popular theory, but I have never heard another girl confirm this. ‘I just love to be treated like crap!’ Nope, never heard it. Sorry.
You know why? We don’t like going out with jerks. Sometimes we accidentally choose them, because we’re people who make mistakes. We don’t have some deep desire to be treated like crap. And please don’t offer up evidence like, ‘but girls go back to abusive relationships ALL THE TIME!’ Abuse is complicated, and it’s not a fair example. Also, way to enable the abuse and make it her fault that she’s still trapped in it. Good job.
Here’s the thing, guys. Yes, guys. The ones who think I’m just picking on the lonely guys who can’t get women. If you find yourself saying these things after you’re rejected by a girl, listen real close:
come a little closer.
Listening yet?
Got your attention?
YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY NICE.
You could have been rejected for any reason. Maybe it’s about her. Maybe it’s about you. If you said those things or thought them, it’s probably about you, because it turns out being called worthless sluts who don’t know what’s good for them is NOT romance-central for us. And take the clue, in case you’re writing me off right now as some radical feminist completely out of touch with reality.
Ask some women about this issue. Seeing as how we’d know. Take the hint. If you quit being a misogynistic jerk, maybe she’ll go for you. If she doesn’t, that’s not an excuse to call her a slut or a whore or suggest that she really doesn’t know what’s good for her, or talk about how she has ‘issues’ because oh yay, the thought that women with mental health issues aren’t worthy of your affection is just delightful. See how it’s really just men who make these arguments, and a tiny minority of women with internalized sexism?
See how countless women are cheering YES, YES, YES when we talk about Nice Guy Syndrome? The hint. It has slapped you in the face. Take it.
this is a real and shitty situation but why is this gender specific? and what about people who know they have a friendship like this and let it go on most likely because of the benefits of having someone under their thumb. aren’t they just as gross? I’m sorry. i’ve only heard attractive bastards pay any mind to this kind of thing and i think it’s because they love to whine. “I’m hot and i have to deal with people liking me, wahhhh.” These are the people you are sympathizing with. Assholes who won the evolutionary lottery and want you to lend them five bucks anyway
It’s gender specific because as far as oppression goes and misogyny, it’s Guy to girl. the real issue is misogyny, hate against women.
i think you’re inventing misogyny that doesn’t exist – you’re being a hypocrite and engage in men bashing. stop embarrassing other feminists
i’m only publishing this because a. your username is funny. similar to the I Have Black Friends defense against possibly ever being a racist. B. not inventing it, brony. not inventing it. C. got any evidence to back up the hypocrisy claims? D. show me some feminists who are embarassed by standing up against rape culture.
maybe i wasn’t very clear. in the specific case you r referring to(guy to girl) this situation can be described as misogynistic but i think there is a wider context for this type of event. this sort of thing occurs in lesbian and gay relationships. sometimes a ‘nice girl’ who doesn’t get what she wants from a guy behaves all misandristy. i don’t think this only happens to straight women. When it does it can be interpreted as misogyny but i think it’s a lot more about misanthropy than sexism
sure, other relationships can have these unhappy situations. But Nice Guy Syndrome, in case I wasn’t very clear, is about misogyny.
so a lesbian could become a Nice Guy as well?
not really. internalized sexism could work, i guess, but Nice Guy Syndrome is an issue of men hating women and feeling entitled to them. not anyone hating anyone and feeling entitled to them. This is sexism and misogyny, not just plain rudeness. Men have privilege over women, making this problem centric to them.
But look at the bolded lines that are popular from Nice Guys. These kinds of guys aren’t guys who are just nice people, they’re guys who think that being “Nice” is the fastest way to get into a girl’s pants, and when it fails, proceed to blame it on the woman’s supposed (aka stereotypical) inherent “feminine” traits when it doesn’t work.
This is based on a sexist line of thinking that all women want emotional support or material things from men, and are simply willing to provide sexual pleasure to a man in exchange, and vice versa, that men all primarily want sex from a relationship and giving a woman gifts or letting her cry on their shoulder is some kind of heroic sacrifice that must be made for that purpose.
The difference between Nice Guy Syndrome and it occuring with different gender dynamics is that if these statements are made about a man, it’s usually because the speaker believes these things do apply to the specific man in question, whereas in Nice Guy Syndrome, the Nice Guy blames it on what he perceives as a woman’s inherent female traits and then goes and applies it to all women.
Incidentally, Nice Guys don’t just tend to be sexist in their thinking (say, a woman who likes sex, or prioritizes sexual attractiveness or prowess in a partner is a “whore”, whereas if a man does the same it’s just “natural for men”), but also heterosexist and cissexist.
“The difference between Nice Guy Syndrome and it occuring with different gender dynamics is that if these statements are made about a man, it’s usually because the speaker believes these things do apply to the specific man in question, whereas in Nice Guy Syndrome, the Nice Guy blames it on what he perceives as a woman’s inherent female traits and then goes and applies it to all women.”
yes, you illustrated this quite eloquently, thank you!
Yes, there’s a wider context for this type of event. It’s called patriarchy, rape culture, misogyny and sexism.
It’s the culture in which too many men feel they have a right to women’s bodies, it’s the culture in which too many men feel that by giving a woman unwanted attention/gifts they can buy her time/affections, and she has no say in this deal. For the Nice Guy it is a default state that women are for sale at the price of few carefully selected Nice Words that he doesn’t mean anyway.
There are Nice Girls out there, sure, but what they don’t have is the institutional and societal power to back up their misconceptions. The Nice Guys do.
Which is why when a girl turns down a guy who bought her flowers she didn’t want is called nasty names, and the guy who turns down a girl who got him football tickets he didn’t want merely has standards. It is why the dude’s friends won’t try to convince him to date a girl he’s not interested in, whereas the friends of a girl will quite often recommend that she date the guy she doesn’t like because “he’s better than nothing, and at least he got you flowers.”
It is very gender specific – not because it doesn’t happen to every gender out there, but because there is an alarming tendency for guys to convince themselves that buying unwanted flowers and ignoring several rejections makes them nice. It doesn’t. It makes them persistent asshats, who forgot that hey, bringing flowers won’t make her love you. The fact is, that these guys don’t want the girl to actually love them back, they just want the girl. Period. Because to these guys women are slot machines that work like this: Insert flowers/cheesy flattery/movie tickets/dinner and out comes a relationship.
And then when it turns out that women are people, hho have emotions, *gasp* and who may not not fall in love with this particular dude, even though he did all the “moves”, they berate the women’s worth as human beings. This has nothing to do with bitterness, because innocent disappointed bitterness would sound like this: “Nooooo, why didn’t she want meeeee, booooo” and then have a beer and get over it, where as Nice Guy bitterness sounds like this: “Nooooo, she didn’t want me because I’m too Nice and she’s crazy and she likes a dude whom I don’t like, and so I’ll make it sound like she likes dudes in general who treat her badly, and I’ll call her a slut to boot!”
And really… that last one? That’s a Nice Guy(TM). And he’s fucking frightening. And clearly you have no idea just how bad these guys can get, lying to themselves as well as other people, because if you had any fucking idea how much these guys blame and shame girls into relationships WE DO NOT WANT, because the alternative is worse, you wouldn’t even argue about this. This is about misogyny. Plain and simple.
Oh and bad relationships? They happen between all genders. But the Nice Guy Syndrome? It’s not about bad relationships. It’s about those relationships that never happened and that the self-proclaimed but not truly nice guy is really angry about not having happened. Big-ass difference.
This has nothing to do with bitterness, because innocent disappointed bitterness would sound like this: “Nooooo, why didn’t she want meeeee, booooo” and then have a beer and get over it, where as Nice Guy bitterness sounds like this: “Nooooo, she didn’t want me because I’m too Nice and she’s crazy and she likes a dude whom I don’t like, and so I’ll make it sound like she likes dudes in general who treat her badly, and I’ll call her a slut to boot!”
yes! this is why it separates from loneliness. nothing wrong with being lonely and feeling put out when you get rejected, it’s fine to think ‘they’re a jerk if they didn’t want me’ and apply it to the person specifically, not women as awhole.
Really? Really? To say that this is a feminist idea is ridiculous. This happens with both sexes. On “Sex and the City”, the show that critics praised as the chronicles of the “modern woman”, these women sat and badmouthed their exes and guys who rejected them just like these supposed “nice guys” did. If anything, it’s a cover up to “act tough” like the break up hasn’t affected them. This happens with men; this happens with women. It’s a calloused shield. In terms of the “I asked you multiple times and you said no” argument is a strange one. First of all, in the example you’ve given (and it would be nice of you to at least blur names and pictures if you are going to air someone’s private business on your blog), it seems as though this girl did not specifically say no. Instead, it seems as though she took advantage of some poor dope that couldn’t take a hint. Instead, it seems like she saw an opportunity to get things she wanted (such as a completed science project, tickets to a great concert, etc) and bled this guy dry. Should he have taken the hint? Yes. Did he? No. This actually an example of women using sex to get what they want (which is a topic over which feminist camps have split on whether or not it is right or not). Also, this is an example from high school; though some people don’t mature after high school, many do. So, perhaps your point of view comes from a high school perspective where guys haven’t really matured into understanding how to deal with rejection and break ups, a world where it is absolutely important to have the upper hand in a relationship or situation at all times to maintain popularity or status. It’s not “Nice Guy Syndrome”, it’s growing up and being a guy in front of friends. To flip this situation, many girls, when rejected by a guy they like, will launch into a rant about what an asshole he is to make themselves get over it. It’s not nice guy syndrome, it’s a defense mechanism to dull the sting of rejection.
It doesn’t happen with both sexes because women don’t have patriarchy and misogyny backing them up. I will deal with this when I have more spoons.
okay, now i think i havet he spoons. let’s dig in.
i don’t watch sex in the city for a few different reasons however, women are oppressed by men. if you’re talking feminism, that IS an accepted concept in feminist theory. let’s go from there.
on the show, are they bad mouthing men in general, like, these men have issues, they don’t know what’s good for them, i was nice to him once so he owes me sex? is that what’s going on? is this a show that talks a lot about how some men like to date trash and won’t go for the nice girls like meeeee?
and if someone is going to put their personal diatribes on facebook, i’d say privacy is a no-go, yeah? even so, this has been going around on tumblr forever.people know their names and faces already. i’m not entirely concerned. if these two individuals want to tell me to bleep their names out, i’d be glad to oblige, though.
if you read the picture again the girl specifically said no countless times, and then seemed to get tired of it, so just started to avoid him. the fervor that he pursued her with was nothing short of creepy. the fact that her saying no is forgettable and not important at all says a lot about the enforcement about rape culture, because his hurt feelings are ultimately more important than her NO.
and if this was dealing with rejection, it wouldn’t be ‘some girls just don’t know what’s good for them’. will you read the statements that nice guys make again? it’s not just ‘wow it hurts that i was rejected by her. she’s mean.’ it’s, ‘some women don’t know what’s good for them.’
and yes, many women will launch into a rant about what an asshole HE is. the one guy. which characteristics relating to him. but i don’t often hear statements about how guys just don’t know what’s good for them.
You asked: “on the show, are they bad mouthing men in general, like, these men have issues, they don’t know what’s good for them”?
I don’t watch Sex in the City either, so I can’t tell you about what the women in the show say or don’t say. But plenty of my friends have sometimes complained about “men”, in general yes, and about how they’re just no good, or they just don’t know what’s good for them, or you just can’t trust them, etc. And sure, usually the friend in question had just either had a fight with her boyfriend or split up. And some of these guys were, in fact, pretty fucked up.
Eh, they were venting. And sometimes it’s easier to say “oh, men, why are they like that,” or “you know how they are,” than it is to acknowledge that the specific guy you’re dating right now is just messed up. Not smart, but only human, I guess. I’m just surprised at your and aim2misbehave’s insistence that women don’t tend to do this. That if a woman complains, it’s only generally “about what an asshole HE is. the one guy. which characteristics relating to him”. That while these so-called nice guys turn around and moan about how “women” are stupid when they’ve been rejected by one, women won’t do the same and complain about “men” being stupid when they’ve been rejected by one. I don’t recognize that at all. You never had a couple friends together bitching (sorry, I wish I could think of a better word without the sexist connotations) about how stupid or insensitive men (collectively, in general) are? Cause it happens plenty.
i don’t have enough spoons to attack the ‘BUT WOMEN TALK ABOUT MEN TOO’ argument, except to say that women don’t have power over men so it isn’t sexist and when women talk about men being pigs.
as for sex in the city i will scream if someone cites that as an example again because women aren’t involved in the writing of sex in the city it’s a bunch of gay men. yay misogyny.
Did you read the part that said “I begged you to come round 5 times and each time you said no”? She did specifically say no, repeatedly. He ignored it, repeatedly.
And THAT, my friends, is what is known as “rape culture.”
Also, she refused to even dance with him, and he didn’t mention her asking for any of the stuff (and I’m sure he would’ve said so if she had asked for it), so I’d hardly say she was “using sex” to get what she wanted, and I don’t think a science project, some chocolates and cards, and a pair of concert tickets over four years would count as “bled dry” – I know high school guys who would’ve done all that in a month if a girl was really just trying to get stuff from them.
yep, rape culture is A LOT about ‘ you can say no but it really doesn’t matter. my feelings just matter more.’ it sounded mean when she refused to dance with him, but really…he’d been pursuing her so obsessively…she does NOT owe him a nice response at all. we never owe a nice response. a no can be a no. by then he should’ve taken the hint but it seems, according to sarah’s argument, that his hurt feelings matter more than her no.
Also, what I’ve seen of Sex and the City is nothing like 99% of “modern women” really are like.
True, we will dish on guys (or girls) that we’ve dated/fucked/crushed on/whatever, but I think people of all genders do that among their trusted friends. And sure, maybe we do have a “boys/girls are dumb!” moment when we get rejected. But Nice Guy Syndrome happens when an otherwise pretty normal guy takes his experience(s) of rejection, combines it with sexist stereotypes, and then uses it as the basis for his entire view of relationships and women.
I suppose, if anything’s similar for women, it might be Special Snowflake Syndrome, where women are all “But I don’t have inferior feminine traits like other wimminz, I think sandwich jokes are funny, so why do guys go for dumb bimbos who like nail polish instead of MEEEE?” Again, it’s a result of building a worldview on sexist stereotypes.
yeah, with the last one, it’s definitely internalized misogyny and sexism because of what ‘type’ of girl is supposed to be attractive enough.
it’s problematic for anyone to assume that being nice to someone automatically entitles you to sex with that person. the reason why this particular post is gender specific is because as icedteaandlemoncake said, there is patriarchy and misogyny backing them up. since feminism is a movement seeking to stop sexist oppression, it makes it a feminist issue.
Consider this: is it okay for this girl to say “I’m sick of boys being such dicks” because she’s “oppressed”"? This post is essentially calling all men misogynist. She makes a blanket statement. This blog is making a blanket statement. I’m wondering what makes her in the right for doing this and men wrong for doing this (because, not all men are misogynist. I hate to burst your bubble, but a majority of men are now afraid of women thanks to this particular brand of feminism.)
if you actually *read* the post, and not just the title, you’d know that i spelt out quite clearly that it’s not ALL MEN that i’m talking about, because not all men do this, misogynists do.
so you won’t let me post. well that’s pretty weak. well here’s what i wanted this to come to anyway. stop identifying with yr oppressors. it doesn’t help women and doesn’t help fat people. you obviously live in a place where slut can be used to shame someone. i also hope wherever this is grows up and learns that sexual freedom is not a sin
yes, as the admin of this blog i exercise control on what comments get posted and i don’t owe apologies when i don’t post one. however, the rest of this comment has absolutely nothing to do with the post itself, or me, or anything.
You made your point from the first comment so it’s not like anyone really needs to read your other comments.
Aside from that: please read this entry. Go get a beverage, take a stroll, ponder it, then read it again if you have to.
This is not addressing all men, not gay men, not lesbians and its not even addressing professional prostitutes. I’m not sure where this whole ‘sexual freedom’ thing came about, so I suggest that you read this article one more time to be clear on whats being said and then turn off the computer for a while.
And if you had actually *read* my comment, you would defend your stance on why it’s okay for this girl to do the exact same thing you’re saying misogynists do.
i’m tired of boys being such dicks can be taken a couple of ways. to actually defend her? i’d say it’s possible that she could be talking about a history of boyfriends. either way, while generalization of all guys as dicks isn’t cool, like i and others have said a few times on this post, women don’t have patriarchy and misogyny backing them up when they make these comments, so it doesn’t actually hurt or oppress men when someone says ‘ugh guys are such dicks.’ not condoning it or saying it’s a good thing to do, but it doesn’t oppress men.
and it doesn’t oppress women to call them sluts because there is no misogny/oppression power in that anyway.
deleted the rest of it JUST so i could laugh and laugh at this part. good job.
slut /slʌt/ Show Spelled
[sluht] Show IPA
–noun
1. a dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.
Use sluts in a Sentence
See images of sluts
Search sluts on the Web
——————————————————————————–
Origin:
1375–1425; late Middle English slutte; compare dial. slut mud, Norwegian (dial.) slutr sleet, impure liquid
source: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sluts
But seriously, stop posting now and I will too.
Growing up I was always told being the nice girl was the best but the older I got and I saw some “not-so-nice” girls make it and I didn’t, it’s taught me that no, being a nice girl isn’t always best but I’m naturally nice, I don’t pretend like some people. But I’ve had to learn not to be such a pushover but also learn not to be too much of a bitch, it’s a balancing act really.
I agree with a lot of this and I don’t think nice guys do themselves any favours by using those lines it has also made me angry – especially the references to the facebook post. Girls – especially the one in the facebook post – could be more honest. Not just to say ‘no’ when working on a school project or yes to a dance and then slink off, or take advantage of his generosity. If that girl had said “Sorry, I’m not interested” rather than giving him the impression that he was or just saying no then it might have been different. If you know where you stand then it is easier to have a cry, have a beer and move on.
By the way I’m not a nice guy, I haven’t been rejected by lots of women I’m gay and have experienced liking someone and them not feel the same and also experienced the reverse. Just be up front about what you want and how you feel. That goes for anyone in any relationship (or potential relationship).
i still don’t think that girls owe a nice explanation in order to not get stalked. no means no. she told him no dooozens of times.
[...] on Twitter, but I feel the blog is really a better outlet for this discussion. Based on the article here , I would like to briefly address the idea of “nice guys”. The article explores the idea [...]
I think the problem is being a “Nice Guy” for the sake of being a “Nice Guy” and not really for the sake of being truly nice.
I think this article vents some frustrations. But, speaking for myself, I’d think very poorly of a girl who made this attitude into a habit. It comes off really jerky.
aw, the worst thing in the world. being thought of as a jerk by someone.
It almost sounds like women might be attracted to a man based on attributes other than niceness! But I’m sure that all those Nice Guy™s care about in judging a woman is how nice she is!
The fact that this posts exists just… *applauds*
I’ve been saying this for years. Because I’ve had guys talk to me about how their “nice guys” and girls just go for jerks. And I always tell them, no, those “nice guys” only assume they’re nice guys, but they don’t realize their “niceness” was entirely based on wanting to get her and not that they’re actually nice guys.
Anyway, the only thing I didn’t agree with was the part were it says something about how there aren’t any girls that think “I like guys treating me like crap.” Because naturally, no girl is going to admit that. When in reality, for a variety of reasons, there are lots of guys who specifically date guys that treat them like crap.
There are parts of this that are grasping onto things are true, but your whole feminist agenda pulls your reason so off track.
Fuck, part got copy-pasta’d in there. Can you delete that? Or delete the whole post it really doesn’t matter.
no i approved it, and laughed my butt off at it because ‘my whole feminist agenda’ hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahhahaha.
thanks for the laugh, dude.
I disagree with the word “Sizeist.” I’m not a man who restricts himself to “skinny” girls, I like women with meat on their bones, but when you’re wider than you are tall, that is unhealthy, that is unattractive. I understand this has been brought about through a socialization process wrought by the world around me, but my point stands. I do not find rolls upon rolls attractive and I don’t think it makes me some sort of bigot to think that.
Also, I know plenty of women DO go for jerks. This is coming from a guy in a happy relationship; I have heard stories and stories and stories about some dumb girl getting into an argument with her asshole boyfriend for the five hundredth time that week. What does she do? Walk away and pronounce her proud independence? Find a better man? Say fuck it and go for girls instead? Nope, right back to him. I’m not saying this makes it OK for the guy to be a douche. This extends to the case of abuse, there is no excuse for men to act in this manner. Saying that “It’s complicated” degrades violence from what it is, violence, to something that can be excused because “He was angry” or “We love each other.” Bullshit. It’s abuse and it’s not OK. Again, by saying that complications are grounds for two people staying in a physically abusive relationship is disingenuous to the nature of abuse.
you diagree with the term because you are sizeist. you basically just said if you’re fat, that’s unatttractive. nice try, bro.
yes, it makes you some sort of bigot.
lol, dude, nice guy syndrome to themax.
you basically just said if you’re fat, that’s unatttractive. nice try, bro. yes, it makes you some sort of bigot.
Yeah god forbid anyone is more attracted to one body type than another. We all have to be equally attracted to every type of body size, and if we’re not, we’re bigots. Obv.
nope, but you are if you think that every fat person is gross. and you’re on a random internet blog arguing that it’s okay to be sizeist so you’re kind of proving my point. you not finding fat people attractive is only hurting you.
So he’s a bigot… and you’re not?
You’ve said above that basically anything a woman can say about a man is justified because we live in a “rape culture” where men have all the power.
Anything a _____ can say to a ____ is justified because we live in a ____ culture.
Let’s fill those blanks in with “White” and “Black” and try not to sound like a bigot.
Lets put it this way, when will a woman ever date a fat guy?
a lot of women date a lot of fat guys.
You are a stereotype. Thank you for furthering the Idiocracy.
says the internet troll. dude, snl skits have been performed about you.
Nice article. Mind if I link this elsewhere?
how so, how do I credit you?
thanks. and yeah, just link to me. <3
[...] a slut because she didn’t want to date Zack Ryder, the living embodiment of Nice Guy Syndrome if ever there was one, and Cena and Ryder both think she [...]