This is written to people on both sides. This is written to people on the powerfully anti side who post on Facebook about the genocide, the violence, and the blood. This is written to the powerfully pro side who post on Facebook about the but-what-if-i-get-a-disabled-child and the, in general, horrible way to treat disabled people when you bring potentially disabled kids (let’s be clear, ALL kids fall into this category) into the discussion. For once, you both have got something in common.
You’ve both forgotten about the parties affected. And before you run to comment sections sqwaking ‘IT’S ABOUT THE UNBORN CHILDREN’ I’m talking about the women you sit in church with, some of whom who have undoubtedly had one or contemplated it. Some of you are making women feel so uncomfortable that your witness as a Christian is suffering. (Some of you are men, too.) I’m not saying ‘so never talk about your beliefs on abortion’ or ‘only say this.’ I’m saying it wouldn’t hurt to have some sensitivity to the people who, you know, the issue could have potentially affected.
On the pro-side, realize exactly who you’re alienating when you talk about selective abortion. There are conversations among DD people about selective abortion, about being the kid your parents didn’t want, that you don’t belong on, and you shouldn’t hijack. No more ‘but my reason for abortion only in the case of downs syndrome is totally cool’ in the middle of a conversation about how people with Downs are considered less than human and there is a 98 percent abortion rate. Not your place. Not your avenue for pro-choice rhetoric. Not your platform to convince us that you aren’t superhuman so you can’t handle a Really Hard Kid, because normal kids are cake.
Anti Side- I’ve probably un-added you from Facebook during the Roe v. Wade hype because you kept posting things that weren’t factually accurate (obama is funding abortions!!! out of my personal paycheck!!! come get your free abortion!!!) or that were terribly triggering and yes, by that I do mean the bad kind of triggering.
I’m usually really pro talking about your beliefs passionately. See my post about guns and how it being offensive shouldn’t mean we just stop talking.
But this time everyone seems to have lost focus on who we’re talking about. Abortion is controversial enough and personal enough that we forget that it isn’t an Out There issue. It’s a pervasive, personal, In Here issue.
So is gun control! I mean, on the day of the Newton shooting, one of the people most offended by me was a mom who owned multiple assault rifles and had a mentally ill teenager who had access to them. She thought that it was morally depraved to dare talk about gun control ‘right now.’
But now we have about one school shooting a week, so most of us (not just the radicals) agree that the time for resting on our laurels and assumptions about crazy people and guns is past and actively starting to talk about how to change things has begun.
Abortion is no exception (either side of the aisle.) So please. Do. Talk about it. But…
If you’re a Christian, and specifically if you’re a dude, think about the people you’re affecting, and how what you’re posting helps the women around you. Remember it’s not an Out There issue – it’s totally in here, in your church, even if you live in a state without an abortion clinic.
Pro-side- stop using people with disabilities as your pawns! No, seriously. Like, stop. Either you give us a voice (an actual voice) in the discussion and not just one that agrees that parenting kids with downs and autism is soooo difficult you have to be a superhuman to not drown them in a bathtub, or stop talking about disabilities and abortion at all.